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Jupiter Ascending Review

I finally watched Jupiter Ascending – I’m behind the times, I know. But hey, I’m all caught up with Elmo and Dinosaur Train, so I’ve got that going for me! Back to the movie at hand – Jupiter Ascending. I liked it a lot, four opposable phalanges up! (Ok, nerdy, I know. Plus no one, not even nerds, would say that. It’s probably incorrect. Oh well.)

Anyway, the movie really caught my imagination, especially the ending. I’m not saying it was the greatest movie ever. The fight scenes were too long, while the plot was so smushed into the moments in between that it was hard to follow sometimes. I had to run it back a couple times to catch some important bit of dialogue. For that reason, I think I would love the book. And the two leads had good chemistry together, which always makes me happy.

BUT, (there had to be a but, right?) I wish the female protagonist – Jupiter Jones, played by Mila Kunis – kicked more alien behind. There are even a few spots she could have, but doesn’t. I guess that’s her personality, her strength is in her humanity, and I thought Mila did a great job showing that. But, would it have compromised her humanity to kill the people trying to kill her? I don’t think so.

Instead, she gets saved over and over (and over) by the male lead, Channing Tatum, who’s some sort of hybrid wolf-man. I assume that’s better explained in the book. Plus, he’s definitely more attractive without the pointy, hairy ears, but whatever. It just would have been really great for Jupiter to take up the sword (laser blaster) and save herself. To be fair, the ending was satisfying when she seemed to be learning some of the cool, high-tech gadgets that Tatum employs so well. I could imagine Jupiter being an action hero in her own right. Now that’s the movie I want to see! In the meantime, I’ll go look for the book, and hope for a sequel.